Jasmine's Beat®- An Adaptive Dance Company for Persons of All Abilities

When my son Makai, now 13 years old, was diagnosed with autism at two years old, I felt a whirlwind of emotions—fear, uncertainty, determination, and an unshakable love that would guide me through this journey. What I didn’t fully understand at the time was that autism often comes with co-occurring mental health conditions. For Makai, one of those was anxiety.Anxiety is incredibly common among individuals with autism. In fact, studies show that between 40-50% of autistic people are also diagnosed with an anxiety disorder—a rate significantly higher than the general population. As I’ve learned, this anxiety isn’t just nervousness before a test or a big event. It’s a deep, pervasive challenge that can affect nearly every aspect of daily life. Recognizing Anxiety Early OnWhen Makai was first evaluated by a developmental pediatrician, she not only explained his autism diagnosis but also highlighted that some of his behaviors were driven by high anxiety. She explained that anxiety and autism are deeply intertwined, often amplifying one another. Looking back, I can see the signs clearly now. Makai would cover his ears at loud sounds, even if they weren’t particularly jarring to anyone else. He would hesitate to try new activities or go to unfamiliar places. He had intense worries about things most toddlers wouldn’t give a second thought to, like the exact placement of his toys or whether a routine would stay the same. At the time, I thought these were solely characteristics of autism, but they were also his anxiety making itself known. Hearing the doctor say “anxiety” alongside “autism” was an eye-opener for me. It gave me a new lens through which to understand my son and his experiences. It also helped me realize that addressing his anxiety was not just an option but a necessity for him to thrive. The Impact of Anxiety on Daily Life For Makai, anxiety has shown up in ways both subtle and overt. Social situations, for instance, can be overwhelming. Even dining at a restaurant, an unfamiliar place with loud voices, and unpredictable movements can make him withdraw or become upset. In school, his anxiety sometimes prevents him from focusing on lessons or completing assignments. And at home, transitions—like switching from playtime to dinner—can spark meltdowns if not handled with care. These moments can be heartbreaking. As a mom, it’s hard to see your child struggle with worries you can’t simply wish away. Anxiety makes everyday tasks—things like going to the store or trying a new food—feel monumental. It impacts his ability to sleep, engage socially, and feel at ease in his own skin. The Role of Therapy in Managing AnxietyTherapies like occupational therapy, speech therapy, and behavior therapy have been game-changers for Makai. They’ve given him tools to manage his anxiety and helped him thrive in ways I could only dream of when we began this journey.Occupational Therapy: Makai’s occupational therapist worked with him on sensory regulation, which was pivotal in managing his anxiety. Makai’s occupational therapy focused on sensory regulation to manage his anxiety. Noise-canceling headphones and sensory breaks help during sensory overload. Deep pressure input, achieved through physical squeezes, weighted blankets, and swinging, provides significant calming effects. These tools, combined with therapy, are invaluable for his well-being.Speech Therapy: Communication challenges often exacerbate anxiety in autistic children. Speech therapy helped Makai express his needs more clearly, reducing his frustration and the anxiety that came with feeling misunderstood. Whether learning to use phrases like “I need a break” or practicing social scripts for group settings, speech therapy equipped him with skills that help ease his worries.Behavior Therapy: Behavior therapy played a critical role in helping Makai build confidence. By breaking down overwhelming tasks into smaller, achievable steps, his therapist taught him how to tackle challenges without fear. Celebrating each small victory became a way to reduce anxiety and encourage him to keep trying.As his mom, I’ve also learned techniques to help Makai cope. Predictability is key for him, so we use visual schedules and social stories to prepare him for new experiences. Deep breathing exercises, fidget toys, and quiet breaks are all tools in our toolbox. These strategies not only help Makai but also give me a sense of empowerment as his parent. What I Wish Others KnewParenting an autistic child with anxiety has its unique challenges, but it’s also deeply rewarding. Makai is one of the bravest people I know. He faces a world that often feels too loud, too fast, and too unpredictable, yet he continues to try, grow, and thrive in his own way. If I could share one message with others, it would be this: Anxiety in autistic children isn’t a “quirk” or a minor inconvenience. It’s a real and significant challenge that requires understanding and support. These children aren’t just “picky” or “shy”—their anxiety is part of who they are, and addressing it can make a world of difference in their lives. I’d also want people to understand how vital it is for parents to have support. Caring for a child with autism and anxiety can be exhausting, both physically and emotionally. It’s easy to feel isolated, especially when others don’t see the behind-the-scenes effort it takes to help your child navigate their world. The Joy Amid the StrugglesDespite the challenges, raising Makai is a journey filled with joy and love. His curiosity, his laughter, and the way he lights up when he hears his favorite song or plays with his big sister—these moments remind me of why I do what I do. Yes, anxiety is a part of his story, but it’s not the whole story. Makai is silly, creative, and resilient. And as I work to help him manage his anxiety, I’m also learning so much about patience, perspective, and the power of unconditional love. Throughout this journey, I’ve come to realize that progress isn’t always about monumental leaps forward—it often lies in the small, everyday victories. For Makai, progress might look like managing his emotions when there’s a change in his school routine, expressing how he feels, independently saying a new word, or walking into a new place without hesitation. Each of these moments is a testament to his resilience and a powerful reminder of just how far we’ve come together.To other parents navigating a similar journey, know that you’re not alone. Reach out for help when you need it, celebrate the small victories, and give yourself grace. Supporting our children through autism and anxiety is no small task, but it’s one that comes with immeasurable rewards. — **Grace Siller is an autism mom, life coach, and consultant dedicated to empowering neurodiverse families and transforming teams. As a life coach, she supports overwhelmed parents—particularly mothers—by guiding them through challenges, prioritizing self-care, and helping them reclaim their identities beyond caregiving. Grace also consults with businesses to actively promote wellness initiatives and to foster inclusive and empathetic environments for in the workplace. Email: grace@gracesiller.comPhone: 703-712-9563Website: gracesiller.comInstagram: @grace.siller